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8th Nerve

from Skinned by Douglas Chay

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lyrics

Am I straight? Or am I gay?
What do I think about my very own words that I say?
Am I good? Or inherently bad?
Should I believe what people tell me about myself
That that's the best that I will ever have?

Am I white? Or am I Korean?
Am I afraid to be honest about myself
and living underneath another skin?

I'm gonna lose my nerve; I'm gonna lose my cool
You're the one for me; I want to be like you

Am I clean? Am I a filthy pig?
What can I do to clear my head out of all the vegetation underneath my powdered wig?
Should I stop? Or do I have to live?
Is it wrong of me to keep my love to myself while I decide to whom it's safe to give?

I'm gonna lose my nerve; I'm gonna fall flat down
you're the one for me; I want you around

I pressed the Scotch tape onto the Asian fold of my eyes
And as I gazed into the mirror I felt a little ill inside
I don't know why the water gets in my eyes
When I see the films of Charlie Chan
With his long buck teeth and his soft shuffling feet
Is that all they think I am?
I lay down on the counter and the knife entered in my skin
I said I want a little off here
And there I want a little in

Am I right? Do you think I am?
Do you mistake me for another man?
Am I free to do whatever I please?
Is it unfair to everybody who's got no choice that I could give it all away for free?

I'm gonna lose my nerve (I know it); if I try to be like you
You're what I want to be; do what I have to do

I'll give up my 8th nerve
It's all I've got to give to you
the nerve that warns of pain and sends it to my brain
I'll give up my 8th nerve
I'll give up my 8th nerve
I'll give up my 8th nerve
I'll give up my 8th nerve

© 2002 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP

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from Skinned, released September 23, 2002

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all rights reserved

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Douglas Chay Baltimore, Maryland

Melodic, fuzz drenched songs celebrating household objects and abject alienation. Chay was part of the Columbia, SC music scene in the late '80s/early '90s and fronted the band Deal Box.

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