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1. |
Lottery
04:49
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If I picked the right six numbers, I would quit my job the next day
And go downtown to rent the block out, and make everyone else go away
It's not that I don't want to work
But I'd rather remain an amateur
I'd give it to the poor -- Lottery
I'd spend it in a store -- Lottery
I'd smoke it in a pipe -- Lottery
I'd buy myself a life
Yes, I could be so happy with this lottery as my new family
Mom you'd look so good steeping a hundred dollar bag of tea
And when they put it in my account
Keep adding zeroes to the amount
I'd spend it on a meal -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd tell you how it feels -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd blow it in a day -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd give it all away
Watch my wallet swell like a bruise
I'd have more money than I ever could use
I'd pay people off so they would give me respect
I wouldn't have to worry about balancing my checks
I'd give it to a bum -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd even give you some -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd throw it on the bed -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd wear it only my head
Get me out!
© 2002 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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2. |
Lips
03:18
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Why do you wear those sunglasses on your eyes?
You're just a pig so go back to your sty
There's not enough lipstick in all the JC Penny's
To pretty up the lips that lie
The lips that won't even try
The lips that love and say bye bye
No plugs can hide the shiny receding's begun
No baseball cap is gonna convince anyone
Your gleaming teeth might get you in somewhere for free
But when your face starts to leak you won't want anyone to see
There's not enough liner in all the makeup counters
To cover up the eyes that lie
The eyes that don't even cry
The eyes that love and wonder why
It may sound like I'm playing
but it's all that I can do to stop me from you
It may sound like I've got it
In for you
You may try but still you can't ignore
You're just a rat scurrying fast across the floor
You can talk about somebody else
A parasitical lip with which you fondly kiss yourself
There's not enough powder in all the department stores
to pretty up the cheeks that hide, the cheeks that won't even try
© 2002 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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3. |
8th Nerve
04:16
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Am I straight? Or am I gay?
What do I think about my very own words that I say?
Am I good? Or inherently bad?
Should I believe what people tell me about myself
That that's the best that I will ever have?
Am I white? Or am I Korean?
Am I afraid to be honest about myself
and living underneath another skin?
I'm gonna lose my nerve; I'm gonna lose my cool
You're the one for me; I want to be like you
Am I clean? Am I a filthy pig?
What can I do to clear my head out of all the vegetation underneath my powdered wig?
Should I stop? Or do I have to live?
Is it wrong of me to keep my love to myself while I decide to whom it's safe to give?
I'm gonna lose my nerve; I'm gonna fall flat down
you're the one for me; I want you around
I pressed the Scotch tape onto the Asian fold of my eyes
And as I gazed into the mirror I felt a little ill inside
I don't know why the water gets in my eyes
When I see the films of Charlie Chan
With his long buck teeth and his soft shuffling feet
Is that all they think I am?
I lay down on the counter and the knife entered in my skin
I said I want a little off here
And there I want a little in
Am I right? Do you think I am?
Do you mistake me for another man?
Am I free to do whatever I please?
Is it unfair to everybody who's got no choice that I could give it all away for free?
I'm gonna lose my nerve (I know it); if I try to be like you
You're what I want to be; do what I have to do
I'll give up my 8th nerve
It's all I've got to give to you
the nerve that warns of pain and sends it to my brain
I'll give up my 8th nerve
I'll give up my 8th nerve
I'll give up my 8th nerve
I'll give up my 8th nerve
© 2002 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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4. |
Cleaning Your Love Slime
03:40
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My house, my house, still cleaning my house
Your smell is still in my room
My God, you didn't bother using the trash can
Now I'm sweeping it up with a broom
Right now I'll bet you fill your face
With someone else's gross disgrace
No matter how much Lysol I spray
I can't get your crumbs to blow away
Cleaning your love slime, dusting the cold grime
Nothing left of you but your love slime
Scraping your skin bits down with disinfectant
Picking up your lust lint with your love slime
Myself, myself, still scrubbing myself
Can't get rid of this feel
I'm flaking raw red and wishing that your
Love slime weren't so real
I'll bet you've already forgot
another notch upon your cot
Cleaning kitchen can't relieve
the creepy stuff you left for me
Scrubbing your sex dirt, all of this from one flirt?
If there's a punishment it's your love slime
Folding your scum sheets and shredding your receipts
Were you wanting to leave me with your love slime?
You love slime monster, where have you been sleeping
Turning your key in every door, sending the bugs a-creeping
I see it floating in the air, I taste it in me everywhere
I hear it whisper from afar, it's riding with me in my car
White hard love lard frying fat crud cake
That's all that's left of the love you make
Come out, come out, this spot won't come out
No matter how hard I try
Pouring this box of detergent
All over your love slime
It never ceases to amaze
the ease with which your love betrays
You're like a snail, I always find
The dirty trail you leave behind
Cleaning your love slime, so far from the sublime
Were you showing to shock me with your love slime?
Hosing your hair down, but can't get rid of your sound
Want to mash the memory of your love slime
© 1996 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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5. |
Thus Spake Shalimar
03:28
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One hot summer's day
I was feeling a little gay
So I primped upon my hair
and I pulled down my underwear
I went commando
And my little voice said (Shalimar!)
Let's find some trouble (Shalimar!)
In a jersey sock on a Marine jock
Get up off your knees, that's what he told me
Cause he would rather hold me
Than go on feeling lonely
Thus spake Shalimar!
(I can understand that
Cause the beautiful boys need love once in a while
maybe even more if they're mama's gone. She can’t do it for them all the time)
I don't mean to be a slut
But I just want to shake my butt
All my friends they caution me
They say that I'm embarrassing my self in public
And my little voice said (Shalimar)
I'm gonna do it (Shalimar)
Changing into it
A square cut split, bikini brief
a silk charmeuse with a red g-string
Get down on your knees that's what he told me
Now that he knows I'm only
Looking for a phony
Thus spake Shalimar!
(and that would sho nuff be me
You know what I did? I said to myself, I liked it better back when he thought I was respectable)
and he wanted to hold me
Instead of wanting to fill me
Fill me up with all his glory
(And you know about that glory. That’s where he always comes out the hero. Yeah, it’s fun at first. But when it narrows down/It’s as dull as life itself.
Plug it up. Take it from me.)
© 2002 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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6. |
Heart of Salt
04:14
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I can't sleep tonight
I took a pill but it's not helping
Outside sparks a light
Blinking on and off and on and
Looking at the clock another hour gone
I'm giving all my love to magazines from now on
And not your heart of salt
Not your heart of salt
Checking messages
And staring at the calendar
I'm back inside your room
Wondering why I can't move me at all
Everything you do is going down the hole
And nothing that you say will change it, no
Give in to yourself don't stop for me
You'll get what you want with or without me
I can't leave tonight
I've got enough money to but I can't seem to leave you
I've got to make up my mind
Because your kiss is not worth this
I'm thinking of the love that didn't last for long
I think I'll give my head to myself from now on
And not your heart of salt
Not your heart of salt
Not your heart of salt -- you can take it all
Bye bye heart of salt -- whether or not I fall
Ooh your heart of salt -- It doesn't matter at all
Bye bye heart of salt -- just give me back my ball
© 2002 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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7. |
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I had this dream that you and I were pushing each other from a plane
To give ourselves a thrill
And in this dream our parachutes detached without a sound
As we plummeted to the ground
And you know there's nothing anyone could do
But I feel like I shouldn't have fallen on you
I had this dream that you and I were engaged in sexual intercourse
Oblivious to the world
And in this dream the bomb exploded directly outside our window
And as the flesh slipped from our bones I told a joke
I said, you're the skinniest woman in the world
And you can wear that dress you bought OK
You're the skinniest woman in the world
And I'm the deadest man alive today
I had this dream that you and I were adrift in the middle of the ocean
With no water 'cept what's in our veins
And in this dream our hunger drove one of us to eat the other
But you didn't want to be the one to die, neither did I
When you're the hungriest woman in the world
You'll eat anything that's living boy or girl
You're the hungriest one in the universe
And I'm in pieces smothered in Worcestershire sauce
I want to feel you with me right now and all over time
I want to feel you in me right now with my mind
Oh yeah, oh yeah, we can be who we are
Oh yeah, oh yeah, we can be like a pretty star
In the sky beyond the clouds
The side of the sun, behind the eyes
Above the dome, beneath the words
And on the curve, below the blue
And under you, and everywhere that you'd think to stare
And no one looks cause they're everywhere
And everyone knows but no one says a word
© 1996 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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8. |
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Footman, lover, gypsy, thief
Our classifications provide us no relief
A for America, B for Brazil
C for the cow who distills us into milk
Bleeding the brown body white
They say they can't see you if you're dark as the night
While we're sucking the wet juices dry
Mr. Potato Head is missing an eye
Tic tac toe, one two three
We learn when we're children of our identity
And what makes us real is the way that we are
But if you are you then you won't get very far
Bleeding the brown body white
If they can't tell the difference then you must be alright
While we're licking the pink rice from our seat
Barbie and Ken are surfing out on the beach
Take a little time, get to know your neighbor
See he's just like you
Do you know what to do when he calls your name?
You scream and run away
From day into night
We're bleeding the brown body white
Peter Piper pick a cause
We're out here protesting but we can't change the laws
You might be dying, you could be in pain
But without someone listening, you won't see any change
Until you bleed your own brown body white
Then nothing offends within the line of your sight
While we're ripping our hair from our heads
Mrs. Caucasian is asleep in her bed
And she sleeps so hard and she sleeps so fast
With the rumble around her muffled out by the cash
And she dreams of princes that kiss her cheek
A dark sweet nectar for her rotting teeth
From day into night we're bleeding the brown body white
© 2002 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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9. |
Suicide
03:52
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I'm talking to myself, what could be wrong?
Things pile onto my back, been there so long
A thing so consuming enflames my thoughts
Sets me up once again like it did before
I've got this feeling I can't hide
Ahh, suicide
I want to hurt no one, don't get me wrong
It's just that I'm still here, still here alone
The love I feel for you frightens me so
I don't know what to do or where I can go
In creeps a feeling I can't hide
Ahh, suicide
I counted all the cars that passed by today
On my three by five card, wrote down the names
I bought myself a car, drove it into the yard
Gonna see how it works today
Yes I will
I can't imagine how things are themselves
You are then who am I? Was someone else?
I want to be with you, to be alone
Will you let me touch you? Maybe I should go
I feel all crumpled up inside
Just like a friend I don't know why
I do believe I'm gonna die
Ahh, suicide
“You’re not alone. Give me your hands.”
© 2002 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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10. |
Dinner Is Ready
01:15
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Every time I see you I think I'm going insane
I try for your name and number
But it won't hang out there in my brain
So I dance into your back stair
And knock knock on that door
But the chain is pulled so hard now
That I can't knock it anymore
And you shout dinner is ready
C'mon shout, dinner is ready
One more time now, dinner is ready
What is it? We got corned beef
We got bean pone
We got pone tack
We got tack pone
We got beans
© 2002 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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11. |
Fucked Up
03:48
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Fucked up, pushed down
Don't you make a sound
Recoiled, or bashed in
There is no way for you to move again
Straight jacket, streamlined, do you remember what's mine
I'm disappearing every time I poke the pain in my mind
And when I try to recover, try to come back home
All I find's another picture there of me all alone
I want you here but still I push you away, is that OK?
I try to find the words but I can't say
Put a pen in my hand so I can try to write it down
But you can't read my writing
Don't you ditch me just because I'm
Fucked up, I'm blown away
For pushing it I'm gonna pay
Bent down, and screwed up
Pouring myself into my own cup
Banging my head till I see spots of red
Though I want you to stop me you're asleep in your bed
And so I cut up my eyes cause I don't realize
That what I'm doing is permanent when the razor collides
I need your help I can't do this myself, can you tell?
I'm letting go of all the things I held
Put a pill in my mouth so I can try to calm down
But I can't stop from shaking and my forehead is sweating
Cause I don't keep forgetting all the times I got burned
But I need someone with me
Don't you drop me just because I'm
Fucked up, I'm shut down
In every direction spread around
Messed up and pinned in
Hovering inches above my skin
Stuffing my face but this food won't replace
All the love that I needed, food won't fill that up
And so I shove up my nose a thousand dollars in snow
And when I miss all my money, wonder where it goes
I want you here but still I push you away, is that OK?
I try to find the words but I can't say
So I type it on the screen that flickers in front of me
And I phone it to your home and leave it on your machine
But I can't stop from thinking that you're already gone
And I know I'm imposing, don't you leave me just because I'm
Fucked up, I'm belt-whipped
I'm giving myself like a gift
Left alone, and glass cracked
I'm talking about me behind my back
© 1996 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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12. |
God Blues (Unplugged)
02:27
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I can see you even though you hide your face behind the fingers on your hand
I can know you even though I never spoke to you cause I am in your head
I -------------------------------- wield the rod
I -------------------------------- I am God
I'll prescribe you a medicine you can swallow whenever you're feeling down
I can tell you the things that lie in your future and what's more I'll let you change it now
If you do what I tell you to then when you die I'll make sure you go to heaven
But you won't if you don't so you'd better hope you're not forsaken
I -------------------------------- plant the pod
I -------------------------------- I am God
If you want me to leave you can only pull your hair
You can ask anyone they'll tell you that I'm everywhere
My position is high I'm in the elitist circles
With a lock is a box where I protect all your souls
How about some real loud gaping earthquake just to show you how helpless you really are
I could plant you somewhere in the middle of the desert to crawl back beneath a star
I -------------------------------- hold the card
I -------------------------------- I am God
© 1996 Douglas Chay
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13. |
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My house, my house, still cleaning my house
Your smell is still in my room
My God, you didn't bother using the trash can
Now I'm sweeping it up with a broom
Right now I'll bet you fill your face
With someone else's gross disgrace
No matter how much Lysol I spray
I can't get your crumbs to blow away
Cleaning your love slime, dusting the cold grime
Nothing left of you but your love slime
Scraping your skin bits down with disinfectant
Picking up your lust lint with your love slime
Myself, myself, still scrubbing myself
Can't get rid of this feel
I'm flaking raw red and wishing that your
Love slime weren't so real
I'll bet you've already forgot
another notch upon your cot
Cleaning kitchen can't relieve
the creepy stuff you left for me
Scrubbing your sex dirt, all of this from one flirt?
If there's a punishment it's your love slime
Folding your scum sheets and shredding your receipts
Were you wanting to leave me with your love slime?
You love slime monster, where have you been sleeping
Turning your key in every door, sending the bugs a-creeping
I see it floating in the air, I taste it in me everywhere
I hear it whisper from afar, it's riding with me in my car
White hard love lard frying fat crud cake
That's all that's left of the love you make
Come out, come out, this spot won't come out
No matter how hard I try
Pouring this box of detergent
All over your love slime
It never ceases to amaze
the ease with which your love betrays
You're like a snail, I always find
The dirty trail you leave behind
Cleaning your love slime, so far from the sublime
Were you showing to shock me with your love slime?
Hosing your hair down, but can't get rid of your sound
Want to mash the memory of your love slime
© 1996 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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14. |
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I had this dream that you and I were engaged in sexual intercourse
Oblivious to the world
And in this dream the bomb exploded directly outside our window
And as the flesh slipped from our bones I told a joke
I said, you're the skinniest woman in the world
And you can wear that dress you bought OK
You're the skinniest woman in the world
And I'm the deadest man alive today
I had this dream that you and I were adrift in the middle of the ocean
With no water 'cept what's in our veins
And in this dream our hunger drove one of us to eat the other
But you didn't want to be the one to die, neither did I
When you're the hungriest woman in the world
You'll eat anything that's living boy or girl
You're the hungriest one in the universe
And I'm in pieces smothered in Worcestershire sauce
© 1996 Douglas Chay All Rights Reserved ASCAP
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Douglas Chay Baltimore, Maryland
Melodic, fuzz drenched songs celebrating household objects and abject alienation. Chay was part of the Columbia, SC music scene in the late '80s/early '90s and fronted the band Deal Box.
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